


My Moment of Clarity

by spellitwithyourpeas



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: F/M, Karen's perspective, kastle - Freeform, protect these two, that forest scene just wrecked me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6362044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spellitwithyourpeas/pseuds/spellitwithyourpeas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She didn't believe it was the end. God, she hoped it wasn't...that somehow they could come back from this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Moment of Clarity

Walking out of the forest, away from the cabin she felt numb. His words echoed in the quiet night. _I’m already dead_. She cradled her arm, ignoring the sharp radiating pain from the crash just a few minutes ago. Just a few minutes ago. Black outing out and waking up to a new trail of blood. By God she would follow it. She’s already come this far.

The truth had not revealed itself like a curtain being drawn back inch by inch. The truth had been a punch in the gut. No notepads or files, no time to process. Just a gun pointed in her direction and orders being barked. The shaking in her hands had calmed by the blast of music from her car speakers. And it’s like a wave of calmness came over her. As he had intended. _You were safe._ She had a sense of vigilance as she drove slowly, creeping along the forest road.  To see another sign from him as she drove, barely hearing the talk of the man next to her. But his entrance had been the antithesis of subtle. A car crash.

 _Go back to the car._ But she didn’t. She pushed. Because this was the breaking point. Everything had been leading up to this moment and there was no preparation. The tone had changed. There was a new distance between them. One he initiated as he dragged the colonel to the small shack. Some part of him became unreachable. That was the part that scared her. She’d always felt that she could get through to him. Even in her darkest moments she felt grounded.

A shock reverberated through her system when she heard the gunshot. Breathe in, breathe out. The subtle movement and the fog drifting through the headlights were the only signs that her world hadn’t froze. Each step weighted and dragging. _You’re dead to me_.

She was not weak. She was not fragile and she did not need protecting. But the weight of sharing a burden- sharing his cross and crusade- having that ripped from her in that single moment left her feeling the magnitude of that loss.

_That was tough for you in there…hm…that was hard._

_Yeah._ She never regretted her decision to cast her lot with the man she most recently pronounced to be a monster. Second thoughts about the steps along the way, but never the decision to follow. To seek the truth. Something Hell’s Kitchen needed. Something she needed.

_All of them, they all think you’re a monster. But I know that you’re not. You’re not._

_You sure about that?..._ _If I find these men who did that to my family, what if… what if nothing changes? What if this is just me now?_

That whisper, with a touch of fear at the end of the sentence. Because she knew that same fear.

_Then don’t you deserve to know that too?_

And that left her breathless. The exhaustion, the investment, the hope, caused her to weep. For just a moment, she would allow herself to sink down. Her resilience had kept her strong. Her belief in goodness whatever shade it was, the honesty, had been guiding her. To sink slowly to the ground to mourn for the part of herself and his that she aspired for through this whole ordeal. To hold onto the goodness with a stark grip, that piece of light nestled in the scars, blood, horror, gunpowder and absolute resignation. Nobody asked this of her, but she gave her whole self because not to would have been an act of betrayal to herself.

 _Frank…. why_? The flames burning on the dock, the bodies lined up in rows. Disbelief, and mourning. The flames were extinguished and she felt that same fear now. That she had lost something precious. Something that she had gained through truly seeing and knowing Frank Castle. She felt that the surface had been scratched, and something important had been revealed. That mutual trust, the honesty, God-the brutal honesty. The calm in the face of death next to this stranger who suddenly didn’t feel like a stranger anymore. It was the feeling of being seen, truly seen and understood. His focus was intense and purposeful and under that gaze she felt whole. A new sense of clarity

So among the shards of broken glass, haloed in the muted light, she sank to her knees and allowed herself to weep. For herself, for what she had given, taken, and lost. And for the dead man in the woods. Frank Castle.

She thought it had all ended with the echo of a gunshot that night. One gunshot. Not seven. But the next night she finds herself in a crowd looking up. Shots are fired on the rooftop and the people shrink down to the ground in fear. But she rises up, slowly, but surely. She rises up because she knows, deep in her bones, she knows the source. And when she sees him her voice returns. _Frank_.

_You do this and I am done. That’s it your dead to me. Do you hear me?_

And hope returns too. The hope that one day he’ll find her and ask her if she actually meant what she said. Or maybe their paths will cross. Hell’s Kitchen wasn’t such a large place. Maybe she’ll find him to say, I didn’t mean it.

_Because I believe you_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for even looking, if you read it wow :D thanks!
> 
> I seriously love these two characters. Karen is fabulous so I wanted to just try to write from the forest/cabin scene on because it just was SO good (I mean the whole season was amazing-how lucky are we ;) this community is awesome
> 
> find me on [tumblr](http://lightofpage.tumblr.com/) :)


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